The adorable, always humorous MBA Jane is my way of honoring our Sisterhood Merit Badge program, now with 4,649 dues-paying members who have earned an amazing number of merit badges so far—6,500 total! Take it away, MBA Jane!!! MJ
Wondering who I am? I’m Merit Badge Awardee Jane (MBA Jane for short). In my former life …
A much-anticipated opportunity came this week. I was so excited. A girlfriend of mine, a real farm chick, a bosom buddy, one of my besties, had a baby! I could finally earn my Lend a Hand to Families badge! I’d been waiting for pestilence and plague, someone to fall sick or have a tragic injury, anything to give me the chance to help someone out.
I know. Even as a joke, it falls flat. My sacrificial nature and priorities are one of the best things about Yours Truly. Along with my humility, of course.
So, I waited by the phone with bated breath, anticipating the …
wee babe’s arrival. I was like a nervous father, an excited grandmother, a big sister! I was a wreck, really. I paced around and ate more than my fair share of organic, free trade, dark chocolate. For the antioxidants, of course. Then I poured a glass of local, organic Merlot. For the reversitol, of course. This birthing process was aging me!
I tell you what. I don’t know what was taking so long, but finally the phone rang. It was a strapping boy! I considered passing out cigars, but I’m not a big fan, so I ate more chocolate.
I could hardly wait to get over there and help out. I had my gift basket all ready, full of handmade burp rags, cloth diapers (okay, okay, those are one and the same, but still), a pair of hand-knitted booties, and a onesie with I Love Auntie Jane printed in puffy paint. I told her I’d be right over and she told me to wait a week.
Huh? Seriously? I had some serious baby snuggling to do, not to mention the fact I planned to bring the Tater Tot Casserole in my oven. With Mr. Wonderful around, it was not going to last a week.
Okay, I grudgingly agreed. One week. And then I’m descending! And helping, by golly!
My week passed, slow as molasses in January. That baby was gonna be a toddler before I got to see him. Sigh. I should have started his college fund by now. Maybe I can teach him to drive.
My Tater Tot Casserole long gone, I packed up some Taco Soup and Cornbread instead and off I went. To help! I almost felt like I needed a cape and maybe some tights.
Turns out, I did a lot less baby snuggling and gift unwrapping, and a lot more dish washing, laundry folding, sweeping, mopping, and more laundry folding. Man, I had no idea babies were such slobs! He is cute, though. I got to play This Little Piggy in between sock folding and unloading the dishwasher. He totally smiled at me, too, although his mama said it was only gas. I suppose she would know … but I still think it was a smile.
When I got home, I was pretty exhausted just seeing what the little mama goes through daily. I’d say I earned this badge, and maybe there should be one for procreating? Just sayin’. She deserves a badge for all aspects of it.
Brought back many memories of my earlier life as a doula. It is LOTS of work, but so worthy. I’m still close to all those families after 30 years! Treasure those memories.
Jane you are such a good friend! I recall all the help I had from close friends when I had a C-section in 1970s. It was a busy, amazing time! The work around the house was exactly what the little mother needed so she could feed and are for Baby Boy. And it is great that there is a Merit Badge for this!
The older we get, the more we forget how much chaos and work having an infant, especially when there are other young children present. Exhausting every single day! Tis is a good badge to offer ways to give back when we see the need!