{"id":48994,"date":"2014-05-11T00:09:40","date_gmt":"2014-05-11T07:09:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.raisingjane.org\/journal\/?p=48994"},"modified":"2014-05-11T00:09:40","modified_gmt":"2014-05-11T07:09:40","slug":"know-your-roots-merit-badge-expert-level","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.raisingjane.org\/journal\/48994","title":{"rendered":"Know Your Roots Merit Badge, Expert Level"},"content":{"rendered":"

\t\t\t\tThe adorable, always humorous MBA Jane is my way of honoring our<\/span> Sisterhood Merit Badge program<\/a>, now with 5,892 dues-paying members who have earned an amazing number of merit badges so far\u20148,416 total! Take it away, MBA Jane!!! MJ<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

Wondering who I am? I\u2019m Merit Badge Awardee Jane (MBA Jane for short). In my<\/span> former life<\/a> \u2026\u00a0<\/b>\u00a0<\/b>\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

For this week\u2019s Each Other\/Know Your Roots Expert Level Merit Badge<\/a>, I continued where my Intermediate Level left off.<\/p>\n

Right at the intersection of Mysterious and Secrets. At the corner of Suspicious and Questions. At the … well, you get my drift.<\/p>\n

I was adrift at sea in an ocean of unanswered questions. Call me overly poetic and dramatic, but something was definitely <\/i>up with my Grandma Barbie. First, she got all weird on me when I mentioned someone named Blaine, and then she hung up on me! Grandmas aren\u2019t allowed to hang up on their granddaughters.<\/p>\n

And now, of all the nerve, she is so totally avoiding my phone calls. Ever one step ahead from my ornery grandmother, I borrowed Midge\u2019s phone and dialed the retirement home in Florida one more time.<\/p>\n

Not recognizing the number, Grandma Barbie answered cheerfully. \u201cWhy, hello, Midge, darling! I\u2019m so glad you called. Could you do me a favor and tell Jane I went away on a cruise or something?\u201d<\/p>\n

Me: \u201cGramma! You are in so much trouble!\u201d<\/p>\n

I hear the sound of the phone dropping. Then, \u201cOh dear. Dear, dear. Well, I always knew this day would come. Hang on, sweetie, I need to refresh my sweet tea if we\u2019re going to go over family history.\u201d I hear her gulp thirstily.<\/p>\n

I drum my nails loudly into the speaker as a subtle hint. \u201cYou hung up on me, Gramma.\u201d<\/p>\n

G.B.: \u201cYes, I know, dear. I was just so surprised to hear you mention his name after all these years.\u201d<\/p>\n

Me: \u201cWho? Blaine? This mysterious fellow from the Outback of Broken Hearts? This Australian Casanova? This …\u201d<\/p>\n

G.B.: \u201cYou\u2019re being overly dramatic. Now stop getting your knickers in a twist, and I\u2019ll tell you all about it.\u201d<\/p>\n

I wrinkle my nose. \u201cJust the facts, ma\u2019am.\u201d The thought of my elderly grandmother getting cozy with anyone gives me a bad case of the no-thank-yous. \u201cWho\u2019s Blaine?\u201d<\/p>\n

G.B.: \u201cWell, it was the summer your grandfather and I broke up. It was the late ’60s, you understand, and a time of free love and …\u201d<\/p>\n

Me: \u201cBLECH! Get to the point, Grammy!\u201d<\/p>\n

G.B.: \u201cDon\u2019t sass me, young lady. Where was I?\u201d<\/p>\n

Me: \u201cMaking my stomach knot with unnecessary mind pictures.\u201d<\/p>\n

G.B.: \u201cRight. Well, anyway, Ken disappeared that year and Blaine was introduced. He was my friend, Summer\u2019s, brother. Remember Summer?\u201d<\/p>\n

Me: \u201cBlue hair? Bad driver?\u201d<\/p>\n

G.B.: \u201cWell, not back then, but yes. Blaine and I went together for a while. It was a wild time. He was very sweet.\u201d<\/p>\n

Me: \u201cWell? And what happened then?\u201d<\/p>\n

G.B.: \u201cWell, nothing really. We broke up because Ken came back. Midge started dating Alan. Skipper and Stacie took up a lot of my time. The rest is history.\u201d<\/p>\n

Me: \u201cThat\u2019s it? Why\u2019d you hang up on me? I thought you were going to reveal some big family secret!\u201d<\/p>\n

Grandma laughs. \u201cOh, Janie, you always were such a worry wart. Now stop poking your nose into my love life, and get crackin\u2019 on yours. Okay, darling?\u201d<\/p>\n

I frown. Trust Gramma to spin the situation around. \u201cOkay. But …\u201d<\/p>\n

G.B.: \u201cOh dear, sounds like there\u2019s a bad connection again! Ffklj! Kklmnw?\u201d<\/p>\n

Me: \u201cGramma, you\u2019re just putting your hand over the mouthpiece and making funny noises again, aren\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n

G.B.: \u201cLmeoico? Ajfft!\u201d<\/p>\n

Click.<\/p>\n

Some critics have called my Grandmother a dumb blonde, but I\u2019m telling you … she\u2019s tricked them all. That woman is deep.\t\t<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The adorable, always humorous MBA Jane is my way of honoring our Sisterhood Merit Badge program, now with 5,892 dues-paying members who have earned an amazing number of merit badges so far\u20148,416 total! Take it away, MBA Jane!!! MJ Wondering … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a> Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-48994","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-gladsome_sisters"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.raisingjane.org\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48994","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.raisingjane.org\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.raisingjane.org\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.raisingjane.org\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.raisingjane.org\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=48994"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.raisingjane.org\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48994\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.raisingjane.org\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=48994"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.raisingjane.org\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=48994"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.raisingjane.org\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=48994"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}