{"id":51617,"date":"2014-09-17T00:09:27","date_gmt":"2014-09-17T07:09:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.raisingjane.org\/journal\/?p=51617"},"modified":"2014-09-17T00:09:27","modified_gmt":"2014-09-17T07:09:27","slug":"connecting-growers-and-eaters-merit-badge-beginning-level","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.raisingjane.org\/journal\/51617","title":{"rendered":"Connecting Growers and Eaters Merit Badge, Beginning Level"},"content":{"rendered":"

\t\t\t\tThe adorable, always humorous MBA Jane is my way of honoring our<\/span> Sisterhood Merit Badge program<\/a>, now with\u00a06,035 dues-paying members who have earned an amazing number of merit badges so far\u20148,663 total! Take it away, MBA Jane!!! MJ\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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Wondering who I am? I\u2019m Merit Badge Awardee Jane (MBA Jane for short). In my<\/span> former life<\/a> \u2026\u00a0<\/b>\u00a0<\/b>\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

For this week\u2019s Each Other\/Connecting Growers and Eaters Beginning Level Merit Badge<\/a>, I volunteered to take over the gardening duties of my neighbor, Mr. Midgely. Recently, he had taken a tumble down his porch and his shiny new cast wasn’t compatible with getting down in the dirt, weeding, and foraging for vegetables. I said to myself, \u201cSelf, you can be neighborly and<\/em> earn a new merit badge while doing so.\u201d<\/p>\n

What could be better?<\/p>\n

That was before I knew of Mr. Midgely\u2019s obsession <\/span>preoccupation with zucchini.<\/p>\n

Now I love a grilled zucchini as much as the next farmgirl. They\u2019re a tasty veg, and we\u2019re close friends.<\/p>\n

But I never want to see another zucchini again.<\/p>\n

Mr. Midgely evidently was preparing for alien takeovers, the zombie apocalypse, or a simple famine, because the dear man planted enough of the giant green vegetable to feed our entire town. And the next one over. Plus, most of Rhode Island and maybe Texas.<\/p>\n

Before I knew what I had gotten myself into, I was knee deep in squash. Everywhere I looked, every time I turned around, I found myself surrounded. At first, they seemed a friendly enough sort of veggie, but after a couple of hours in the hot sun, my baskets laden with what felt like hundreds of pounds, they began to form menacing faces.<\/p>\n

Remember the singing violets and roses in Alice In Wonderland<\/em>?<\/p>\n

\"Flowers_frontispiece\"

Photo via Wikimedia Commons<\/p><\/div>\n

Like that. Only more creepy. And less singing.<\/p>\n

I seemed to be making no progress. Zucchinis were pressing in on me from each side. As soon as I picked one, I swore three more grew up instantly in its place! Like amorous bunnies, they were procreating right before my stunned eyes!<\/p>\n

\"zucchini\"<\/p>\n

I had to get out of there. I lugged my two tons of squash with me as far as the porch, then left them behind when I started to hear them chuckling maniacally at me.\u00a0It had to have been sunstroke, but I wasn\u2019t taking any chances. When the produce starts guffawing, it\u2019s time to take a break.<\/p>\n

Mr. Midgely was watching his soap operas when I burst into the house. He seemed to understand my panicked look … after all, it wasn\u2019t his first garden. But I didn\u2019t appreciate the twinkle in his eye, all the same.<\/p>\n

After a quick cookie and tea break, I went back to work. I wasn\u2019t going to be licked by a Curcurbita pepo<\/em>! (You\u2019re welcome for that little bit of knowledge.) I hunkered back down in the dirt and threatened my enemy with all sorts of graphic promises:<\/p>\n