Wondering who I am? I’m Merit Badge Awardee Jane (MBA Jane for short). In my former life …
For this week’s merit badge, I’m making a commitment …
A commitment to never hearing these words again:
“Would you like paper or plastic?”
That’s right, peeps, even my shopping skillz are going green. Time to collect some uber cute reusuable shopping bags and say ta-ta, cheerio, adios, and all that, to plastic or paper bags.
And here is where my middle drawer in my kitchen breathes a sigh of relief. It’s so stuffed full of plastic bags…well, it’s like my great Aunt Tiny trying to fit into a bikini: things oozing out the sides and spilling over.
Turns out collecting half a dozen bags was the fun part. I even sewed a couple myself: one out of a burlap rice bag (oh my heck, so darn adorable) and one out of a pillowcase (cuz stripes go with everything—I consider them a neutral). I bought four more at my nearby farmer’s market. Ironically, they asked me when I bought them if I wanted them in a bag! Ha! All together I have six, which seems just about right, whether I’m garage sale-ing or stocking up at the big warehouse store.
My pillowcase one is perfect for rolling up and sticking in my purse for those shopping emergencies. You know. You’re driving by, minding your own business, when a shoe store beckons you? Those kinds of emergencies. Just the other day I was pulled into a buy-one-get-one-free cosmetic sale. Just when I think I’ve got enough pearl pink eye shadow …
But I digress. My point is, you never know when the shopping bug will bite, and we nifty thrifty, green girls must be ever prepared. We’re like the Girl Scouts of shopping! Be prepared! Also, we look better in khaki. Brings out my eyes.
Or is that the pearl pink shadow?
I was pretty excited to use my new bags, dearies, but wouldn’t you know? I totally forgot them at home the first grocery trip. I got to the check-out stand and was cheerily chatting with the clerk, when I realized what I’d done! I couldn’t just let my Rocky Road melt while I ran home, plus there were forty seven million people behind me in line, so I had to let it slide.
Twelve plastic bags later, I was still feeling mopey and depressed. I shoved ‘em in the drawer morosely and could barely close the thing.
The next time, I totally remembered my bags! I put them in the trunk of my car so I wouldn’t forget them. I totally left them in the trunk of my car when I went in for the groceries.
Epic fail. Again.
Once again, I stood in line, mumbling “paper, please,” and feeling like a doorknob. (On the plus side, my reading of the dictionary is going swimmingly).
This badge is harder than it looks, gals.
If you have tips for me and my under-utilized shopping bags, please email me immediately.
Pathetically and forgetfully yours,