Let’s Get Physical

Wondering who I am? I’m Merit Badge Awardee Jane (MBA Jane for short). In my former life

Now that the dulcet strains of Olivia Newton John are stuck your head for the rest of the day, let’s talk fitness! (It’s actually a merit badge.) Since I’ve made over my diet pretty darn well in the past year (goodbye, Mr. Chips, hello, Mr. Fruit Smoothie), I have finally decided to tackle the other part of my health plan.

Exercise.

Is it just moi, or did that word send shivers down your spine? I’m breaking a sweat just thinking about breaking a sweat. I feel like I need a good cooling down, and I haven’t done the aerobic activity yet. This is bad.

Being overwhelmed, and also a bit wimpy, I thought I’d try out a few different exercise options before I committed to the one for me. I already knew running was out (unless a bear is chasing me), I’m not coordinated enough for Zumba, and Yoga twists me into pretzel shapes that I would need a Jaws of Life to get out of. What to do to shrink my midsection and strengthen my spaghetti arms?

As I contemplated my dilemma, I sat out on my front porch. There was a group of elementary-school-age children playing Kick the Can.

Suddenly, I had an idea!

I would skip exercise for the fifth year in a row, and do some canning!

Just kidding.

I asked to play. At first they looked at me like I had grass growing out of my ears, but I assured them it was only my sweatband (back to Olivia again). I laced up my cross trainers, hitched up my sports bra, and adjusted my leg warmers (have I taken Olivia too far? You decide).

At first, the little whippersnappers went easy on me, I could tell. But, I demanded they treat me like their peers, and after a little conference amongst themselves, they agreed. The little munchkins were cutthroat! Brutal! Bloodthirsty! Never have I seen such violence and mayhem!

At the end of an hour, I had shin splints, a skinned knee, and my sweatband was not living up to its promises. Sweat was dripping in my eyes, but it was all worth it: I won! That’s right! I beat those 9-year-olds, but good!

I did a little victory dance (a little Cabbage Patch, mixed with the Sprinkler), while they took their balls and went home.

“Come back!” I yelled. “We’re just getting started!”

“We have homework!” they yelled back. “And chores! And it’s Mac and Cheese night!”

Well, drat.

“See you tomorrow?” I begged. “How about we play H.O.R.S.E.? Or Double Dutch? Or hopscotch? I gotta hit my burn, kids!”

They promised they would ask their mommies, and I went home happy, sweaty, and totally committed to my new workout regime.

What would I do during school hours? Well, I’m thinking of organizing a Neighborhood Roller Derby.

Strap on your skates, girls. (And your leg warmers). It’s gonna be a wild and wooly ride!

Leave a comment 4 Comments

  1. Mary Beth Schwarz says:

    Good for you Jane! Making exercise fun is the key to doing it every day. I will try it too! Mary Beth

  2. Winnie Nielsen says:

    I made a commitment to go to the gym 3-4 days a week and have been doing so since 1997. I figure it is cheaper than medical problems and pills to correct the problems!!

  3. Debbie says:

    M.J.,
    Ever since I took up writing/blogging the lure of my comfy chair, a hot cuppa joe and the tap tap tap sounds on my motherboard wins out over a regular exercise routine for me every time. I do however, love to mow our lawn and work in the garden but that’s quickly coming to an end! Now, where did I put that headband and my Olivia Newton John tape? Thanks for the nudge and FORGET THE FUDGE… It’s time to get moving! LOL! Good luck!

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