At the doctor’s office recently, I heard myself say, “Well, I can’t let this define me.” (Lingering injuries from an accidental electrocution continue to test my patience.)
Driving to the farm the next day in the early hours of daylight to cook breakfast for our Bed & Breakfast guests, I was thinking about that statement. If I don’t want it to define me, what do I want to define me? …
What defines me? How do I perceive myself? How do others perceive me? Do I place things that define me in the same order on the list of those things which actually define me?
Later that night, when I had a little more time, I answered these questions. Mother to two little girls was first, partner to my husband second, then assistant and bff to my mother third … Those three were easy, but then what was next, and in what order do they actually fall? Editor/writer makes me really proud, so does crafter, communicating well, throwing a good party, making people’s days … And what about the things I don’t want to define me? Health stuff or money stuff. I can’t just PUT them on the bottom of the list, I have MAKE them the bottom of the list by making the others stronger/bigger/more a part of who I am.
Am I really that nice? I think I am, but can I be even nicer? Whenever someone meets my dad, Nick, they always say, “What a nice guy.” Being nice defines him; it’s high on his list. And he always makes an effort to be nice.
Or how about the things that used to define me? Well, they don’t anymore, so I can let go of them! That’s nice in some cases, but I do still like to tell my kids I used to drive a combine. Although with all the new gadgets like gps and such, I wouldn’t have a clue what to do if I climbed into the cockpit today. But maybe, just maybe, I’d start ’er up and figure it out since I know I have done it … so maybe it can still be on my list … or maybe I should get out there and try it again, just to preserve that definition of me a little longer.
I’m really enjoying this process … and my plan for now? Be the person I think I am. What defines you?