Dyeing for Color

The adorable, always humorous MBA Jane is my way of honoring our Sisterhood Merit Badge program, now with 4,690 dues-paying members who have earned an amazing number of merit badges so far—6,500 total! Take it away, MBA Jane!!! MJ

Wondering who I am? I’m Merit Badge Awardee Jane (MBA Jane for short). In my former life

Just the name alone gave me warm, fuzzy feelings. After all, my roots were coming in dreadfully and I’d been hoping to find an excuse to go dark chocolate brunette for Christmas Eve (nothing says holidays like dark chocolate, am I right, girls?) But turns out, the Merit Badge gurus were not talking about my tresses. They also weren’t talking about tie-dye parties, of which I’ve had one or two (tenth birthday—it was psychedelic, dudettes) but actual … um, like, dyeing for less trivial reasons? Well, whatever the reason, I got behind this beginner level Dyeing for Color Merit Badge!

I decided to try the ancient art (okay, maybe it’s not ancient, but still) of tea coloring. I mean, it was only logical—I love tea. The smell, the taste, the jolt, and I love the color, although not on my teeth. That brings me back to chocolate. Everything brings me back to chocolate, actually. I think I have a problem.

Is there a 12-step program for chocoholics? No? Never mind. Back to the badge.

You know, badge is very nearly spelled fudge …

Sorry. I’m focused now.

I have a beeyooTEAful lace tablecloth that my Gramma Barbie gave me years ago. I’m always afraid to use it on Christmas day because:

A) it’s lace and lace makes me nervous because it looks so fragile, and

B) I spilled gravy on it three Thanksgivings ago and can’t get the entire stain out. So, basically, this tea dyeing thing might save me yet. Gramma won’t wonder where it is when she gets here for Christmas dinner (like she wonders where that frightening, singing, plastic fish went that she got me a few years back that I accidentally-on-purpose ran over with my car) and I can cover the gravy stain with tea. Cover the gravy stain with tea … now there’s something you don’t hear every day.

So, I got to work. I brewed the largest batch of tea you ever did see (unless you’re British, then never mind). I swirled and soaked, and swirled and soaked, and wrung and inspected, and swirled and soaked some more. All that waiting around for the perfect shade of Darjeeling with a touch of Oolong with a smattering of Pekoe with just a hint of Assam made me thirsty, so I brewed some more and had a cuppa.

It turned out so marvelous that I started looking around for other things to dye—after several potty breaks, that is. Thanks to this Dyeing for Color Merit Badge, I am WELL hydrated.

I found a set of linen napkins that I was never fond of, due to their impeccable white color (how can you willingly and purposefully wipe your hands and face with a napkin that is white as snow?) and went to town. More tea. More potty breaks.

I am loving this new art form of mine.

Tea is the new black, girls!

And I am no longer interested in dyeing my tresses dark chocolate. I’m thinking Earl Grey is where it’s at!

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