The adorable, always humorous MBA Jane is my way of honoring our Sisterhood Merit Badge program, now with 6,724 dues-paying members who have earned an amazing number of merit badges so far—9,486 total! Take it away, MBA Jane!!! MJ 

For this week’s Young Cultivator Each Other/Thank You! Beginner Level Merit Badge, I enlisted my handy-dandy, go-to, MBA newbies, Piper and Andy. No, it wasn’t just that they were the only two whippersnappers in my circle; it was actually their mother’s idea.

You see, she had noticed a bit of … well, negligent and perhaps slipshod behavior in her sweet little angels as of late.

Okay, I candy-coated it. What she really said was,

These gremlins who live with me and call me Mom have become entitled, selfish Twerpensteins with ATTITUDES. Suggestions?

Suggestions? Boy howdy, was I the farmgirl for the job!

You see, I too, have struggled with being negligent and slipshod an entitled, selfish Twerpenstein, and have recuperated nicely.

Hello, my name is MBA Jane and I am a recovering gremlin-with-an-attitude.

Hello, Jane!

I knew the root of the problem with the rugrats lay in their lackadaisical, cotton-pickin’ hearts. They needed a job, a purpose, a sense of thankfulness.

And maybe a cookie.

photo by Jason Lam via Wikimedia Commons

(Because everything—including jobs, purposes, and merit badges—go better with cookies).

In order to earn their Beginner Level badge, they simply needed to start a Gratitude Journal.

Easy peasy, lemon squeasy, righto? I mean, come on. Who doesn’t like to journal things in cute, little, cloth-bound booklets?

Evidently, Piper and Andy, that’s who.

You’d think I was pulling their teeth or forcing them to drink kale juice. The sounds of whining coming from my kitchen table practically made my ears bleed, I kid you not.

“But Auntie!” they cried, in unison, “It’s SUMMER! School is over! We refuse to learn anything! Bloody murder! I won’t do it! The pencil hurts my fingers! The paper smells weird! I need more cookies! This will give me Black Lung! You’ll be sorry when we’re dead!”

Yadda yadda yadda, etc. etc. etc., blah blah blah.

Trust me: I’ve toughened up since becoming an auntie. It’s not a job for the faint of heart. You need a will of iron, a spine of steel, a big heart, and a whole lotta chocolate chips.

After they realized I was not going to back down on this (and that their mother wasn’t going to let them come home until their attitudes changed), they cracked open their journals and buckled down. Well, sorta. Andy banged his head on the table a few more times for good measure, but after it made his eyes cross and I didn’t soften (but did hand him some ice), he sighed and got to work.

They were kind enough to let me read their lists:

• Cookies
• Summer vacation (or lack thereof, Auntie)
• Wifi
• Puppies and kittens
• Breakfast, lunch, and dinner
• Snacks
• Mom and Dad
• Friends
• Slumber parties
• Toenail polish
• Outdoor barbeques with the neighbors
• Horseback rides
• Shopping
• Holidays
• Tree climbing
• Blanket forts
• Movie nights
• Andy (don’t tell him I said that)
• Piper (don’t tell her I said that)
• Swimming
• Pets
• Pizza nights with the family
• Vacations
• Staycations
• Back to school outfits and supplies
• Lemonade stands

I thought it was a lovely list.

P.S. I may have forgotten to mention they have to write in these journals for two weeks to earn their badges.

photo by Danni Suplicki via Flickr.com

Ahem. Pray for me.

And send chocolate chips.

Welcome New Sisters! (click for current roster)

The adorable, always humorous MBA Jane is my way of honoring our Sisterhood Merit Badge program, now with 6,724 dues-paying members who have earned an amazing number of merit badges so far—9,486 total! Take it away, MBA Jane!!! MJ 

For this week’s Young Cultivator Make it Easy/Music Beginner Level Merit Badge, I knew I needed a brush-up on my own musical skills, so I decided to kill two birds with one stone. So to speak. No killing of anything required for this badge, Madge, rest assured.

I wrangled in my partner in Merit Badge earning crime, the ever-so-lovely Miss Piper, and I explained what we needed to do in order to earn this one. She said it sounded easy-peasy, but I reminded her that’s what we think about a lot of things in life until we try them.

photo by Stilfehler via Wikimedia Commons

“Remember leash-training the pot-bellied pig?” I asked. “The DIY flying trapeze? The year we went without Netflix? Yeah. That’s what I thought. Now, front and center!” (You have to be strict with kids. They like it, and it keeps them on their toes, which is always a good thing. I highly recommend cultivating a little suspicious fear in the whippersnappers whenever possible.)

We got to pick three songs and listen to them, trying to identify the different musical instruments used. This seemed like it wouldn’t be so difficult, but I made the mistake of letting Piper pick the first song. Evidently, I am old. I am not phat enough (what’d she call me?!) to fully appreciate the youngsters’ musical tastes these days. Still, I was game. I made a guess as to an instrument used,

“A kazoo?” I asked, desperately trying to hear some semblance of classical composition somewhere in the song. Anywhere. At all. “A trash-can lid? An underwater elephant with a sinus infection?”

“Aunt Jane! Come on now, that’s a bass guitar.”

“Ah. Yes. Totally was my next guess.”

Piper was a good sport and she let me pick the next song. I chose the melodious sounds of Simon and Garfunkel. My ears needed them after Piper’s pick.

Piper woke herself with a snort and wiped the drool off her chin (very funny, kid). “I’m gonna go with … um, a harp?”

Turns out, my instinct about how hard this badge was going to be was pretty on point. We attempted cataloging the instruments in a few other songs, but by then it was hard to hear our guesses because we were laughing so hard.

I’m not sure we learned much, but we definitely bonded. So that counts, right??

Next—when the giggles died down—we talked about harmony, melody, and rhythm.

photo by Nichelle Anderson via Wikimedia Commons

“Harmony,” said I, in my most astute voice, “is what we were just doing when my alto yodeling matched your soprano wailing.”

“And melody,” said Piper, getting into the spirit, “is what we both tend to ignore in favor of our own tune.”

“And rhythm,” I continued, “is a most excellent word to use in a game of Hangman.”

“Aunty, you are so wise.” Piper high-fived me. “Even if your musical taste is dreadful.”

Pshaw! Kids these days.

Welcome New Sisters! (click for current roster)

Welcome New Sisters! (click for current roster)

 The adorable, always humorous MBA Jane is my way of honoring our Sisterhood Merit Badge program, now with 6,691 dues-paying members who have earned an amazing number of merit badges so far—9,460 total! Take it away, MBA Jane!!! MJ 

For this week’s Out There Kids/I Am A Survivor Young Cultivator Merit Badge, I snagged my little pal, Nora, and we got ready to put together some Survival Packs. Now, in order to earn this Beginner Level badge, we really only needed to make one, but never let it be said that I make things easy. Or cheaply. Or wisely. So I bought most of our supplies in bulk and we thought we’d make some for our friends and families. I mean, come on. Survival? It’s uh, kinda necessary stuff.

Also, I’ve been reading a lot of zombie novels, and it never hurts to be prepared. Just sayin’.

So Nora came over for the afternoon and we got to work assembling our supplies and packing our baggies. I was surprised at much she couldn’t identify, and the stuff she could identify, she didn’t know why anyone would ever need. So, all in all, our afternoon stretched into the evening. That kid can ask a lot of questions …

Such as:

What’s this weird-looking thing? (Weird-looking thing is a poncho.)

What’s a poncho? I thought a poncho was a type of Alpaca. (Uh, no. It’s a light, rainproof jacket.)

Good, cuz I don’t think we’ll fit an Alpaca in these little bags! HAHA! (Very funny, dear. Let’s try to focus now.)

Whoa! You’re going to give me a pocketknife? SCORE! (Fold that up, please. You’re obviously not ready for that.)

What’s the whistle for? *blows it* Signaling prairie dogs? Practicing my cheers? (For calling for help, you mini weirdo. Stop blowing that thing!)

This is the gnarliest blanket I’ve ever seen! (It’s a space blanket.)

We’re going into space? This Merit Badge stuff ROCKS. (Just hand it here. Sigh.)

Yum, candy. (IN. THE. BAG. MISSY.)

What’s the cord for? *narrows eyes suspiciously* Are we planning on kidnapping someone? (Of course not! What an idea!)

I’m just sayin’… rope, pocketknife, candy … If I find duct tape, Auntie Jane, I’m telling Mom. (Quit it, candy breath.)

I don’t wanna be an accessory to your life of crime, Aunty. (*sigh*)

A mirror? So, like, we can check our makeup while help arrives? Or to see if our rescuers are vampires? (Very funny. It’s for reflecting.)

Wahoo! Matches! I love fire! (IN. THE. BAG.)

Oh, I have one of these already. A first aid kit, right? (Right.)

Whew. That whole thing took a while. We ended up eating most of the candy and granola bars, so we’ll have to replenish those. Nora lovingly used a Sharpie to label the bags, and then she placed them all in a basket, and skipped cheerfully around the ‘hood to pass them out. She was like a Little Red Riding Hood. I wiped a single, proud tear away as I watched her from my porch.

She even left me one, the little sweetie. Then I peered closer at her labeling job:

Zombie Apocalypse Supply Kit (Not For Use For Kidnapping) – BYOC (Bring Your Own Candy)

Welcome New Sisters! (click for current roster)

Merit Badge Awardees (click for latest awards)

My featured Merit Badge Awardee of the Week is … Kathy Butler-Bebout!!!

Kathy Butler-Bebout (#6691) has received a certificate of achievement in Farm Kitchen for earning a Beginner & Intermediate Level Forage for Food Merit Badge!

“We had an exceptionally wet spring and early summer here, and have seen many more fungi and mushrooms than usual. My husband, the kids, and I spent an hour looking at the Missouri Dept. of Conservation edible mushroom page to confirm that the fungus growing on several dead logs across the creek were edible.

We had success! We correctly identified the fungus as oyster mushrooms.

My main areas for foraging are SurePop Farm, 240 acres, 12 miles S of Yellville, AR, on Water Creek in rugged Ozark Mountain terrain, a few miles N of the Buffalo River; and Sunrise Farm, 40 acres of bottom and upland pasture on Greasy Creek, 7 miles SW of Yellville. Sunrise Farm has been cultivated and foraged for generations. I searched there this spring for morel mushrooms in a small, undisturbed area in a sycamore grove on the bank of Greasy Creek. Morels, happily, are one of the easiest to identify because of their “spongy, Christmas tree” shape, and the area was relatively free from heavy undergrowth, so they were easier to spot under dead leaves and logs. SurePop is remote and barely cultivated. I targeted the elderberry thicket along the creek, the deep ravine full of dead logs from the ’09 ice storm, and the large flat area overgrown with kudzu on the S side of the farm.

I learned that, for me, the only way to forage for fungi in the off-season is to identify areas with conditions conducive to their growth. I checked these areas periodically through spring, summer, and early fall of 2015. I fell in love with fungi! When the weather turned moist and still, an incredible variety of mushrooms, shelf fungi, puffballs, and the like revealed themselves. I can identify elf’s ear (not edible), morel, oyster, delicious milky cap, lion’s mane, and puffballs.”