The adorable, always humorous MBA Jane is my way of honoring our Sisterhood Merit Badge program, now with 6,962 dues-paying members who have earned an amazing number of merit badges so far—9,905 total! Take it away, MBA Jane!!! ~MaryJane
Wondering who I am? I’m Merit Badge Awardee Jane (MBA Jane for short). In my former life …
For this week’s Cleaning Up/Water Conservation Beginner Level Young Cultivator Merit Badge, I thought teaching Andy to conserve H20 would be easy peasy, lemon squeasy. And I wasn’t necessarily wrong … he took to it like a duck to water, like a pig to mud, like … like a small boy given too much responsibility too quickly.
It all started when I suggested he make a list of ways to help him and his family conserve water at their house. Sounds reasonable, right?
I mean, I had made my own list a couple years back when I was learning this very thing. Mine was quite rational, really.
Jane’s Cheat Sheet and Subtle Reminders to Help Conserve Water:
- Time your showers.
- Cut back on shampooing and conditioning.
- Shave legs before you turn the water on (or stop shaving … ok, ok, only in the winter months!).
- Don’t let faucet run while brushing teeth.
- Check pipes and faucets for leaks.
- Install a water-saving showerhead.
- Only run dishwasher when completely full.
- Compost more instead of running garbage disposal so frequently.
- Plant drought-resistant shrubbery and plants.
I shared my list with Andy, the intrepid water conservationist, but he thought he could do better. And now his family is out to get me. I think I might need to join the Witness Protection Program until his passionate, single-minded attentiveness to this badge wans a bit …
Andy’s Ways to Save the Earth
- No one is allowed more than a four-minute shower. Turn off water flow if necessary, even if there is soap in your eyes (this will be very motivating for your next shower).
- Stop brushing teeth altogether.
- Drink hot-cocoa packets and Kool-Aid mix dry.
- No baths for little children! Only run through sprinklers! Clothing optional.
- Don’t let Mom mop the floor anymore. Dirt is EARTH, man! We love the earth at Andy’s house.
- Instead of water on the Slip and Slide, use milk. Chocolate milk.
- When Dad says to wash the car, remind him he is slowly killing the world with his vain consumerism.
- Never wash behind your ears again.
- If it’s yellow, let it mellow, if it’s brown, flush it down!
I can see why Andy’s family is a little perturbed. Me thinks he may have missed the point of this merit badge altogether and is slowly turning into a dictator of his very small country family.
Luckily, part two of earning the Beginner Level Badge was getting your family on board and making a plan together. We meshed and mashed our two lists together and came up with something everyone could live with. (And everyone is back to brushing their teeth and bathing, thank goodness.)