The adorable, always humorous MBA Jane is my way of honoring our Sisterhood Merit Badge program, now with 5,892 dues-paying members who have earned an amazing number of merit badges so far—8,416 total! Take it away, MBA Jane!!! MJ
Wondering who I am? I’m Merit Badge Awardee Jane (MBA Jane for short). In my former life …
For this week’s Each Other/Know Your Roots Expert Level Merit Badge, I continued where my Intermediate Level left off.
Right at the intersection of Mysterious and Secrets. At the corner of Suspicious and Questions. At the … well, you get my drift.
I was adrift at sea in an ocean of unanswered questions. Call me overly poetic and dramatic, but something was definitely up with my Grandma Barbie. First, she got all weird on me when I mentioned someone named Blaine, and then she hung up on me! Grandmas aren’t allowed to hang up on their granddaughters.
And now, of all the nerve, she is so totally avoiding my phone calls. Ever one step ahead from my ornery grandmother, I borrowed Midge’s phone and dialed the retirement home in Florida one more time.
Not recognizing the number, Grandma Barbie answered cheerfully. “Why, hello, Midge, darling! I’m so glad you called. Could you do me a favor and tell Jane I went away on a cruise or something?”
Me: “Gramma! You are in so much trouble!”
I hear the sound of the phone dropping. Then, “Oh dear. Dear, dear. Well, I always knew this day would come. Hang on, sweetie, I need to refresh my sweet tea if we’re going to go over family history.” I hear her gulp thirstily.
I drum my nails loudly into the speaker as a subtle hint. “You hung up on me, Gramma.”
G.B.: “Yes, I know, dear. I was just so surprised to hear you mention his name after all these years.”
Me: “Who? Blaine? This mysterious fellow from the Outback of Broken Hearts? This Australian Casanova? This …”
G.B.: “You’re being overly dramatic. Now stop getting your knickers in a twist, and I’ll tell you all about it.”
I wrinkle my nose. “Just the facts, ma’am.” The thought of my elderly grandmother getting cozy with anyone gives me a bad case of the no-thank-yous. “Who’s Blaine?”
G.B.: “Well, it was the summer your grandfather and I broke up. It was the late ’60s, you understand, and a time of free love and …”
Me: “BLECH! Get to the point, Grammy!”
G.B.: “Don’t sass me, young lady. Where was I?”
Me: “Making my stomach knot with unnecessary mind pictures.”
G.B.: “Right. Well, anyway, Ken disappeared that year and Blaine was introduced. He was my friend, Summer’s, brother. Remember Summer?”
Me: “Blue hair? Bad driver?”
G.B.: “Well, not back then, but yes. Blaine and I went together for a while. It was a wild time. He was very sweet.”
Me: “Well? And what happened then?”
G.B.: “Well, nothing really. We broke up because Ken came back. Midge started dating Alan. Skipper and Stacie took up a lot of my time. The rest is history.”
Me: “That’s it? Why’d you hang up on me? I thought you were going to reveal some big family secret!”
Grandma laughs. “Oh, Janie, you always were such a worry wart. Now stop poking your nose into my love life, and get crackin’ on yours. Okay, darling?”
I frown. Trust Gramma to spin the situation around. “Okay. But …”
G.B.: “Oh dear, sounds like there’s a bad connection again! Ffklj! Kklmnw?”
Me: “Gramma, you’re just putting your hand over the mouthpiece and making funny noises again, aren’t you?”
G.B.: “Lmeoico? Ajfft!”
Click.
Some critics have called my Grandmother a dumb blonde, but I’m telling you … she’s tricked them all. That woman is deep.
My Mom had beautiful purple iris outside out kitchen door just like this every year. They are so beautiful!
Iris, I like to think if them as the “orchids of the north” -they are that beautiful. They are my absolutely favorite flower. My mother planted a zillion of them at our little house in MD but immediately found out she was allergic to them and spent the rest of the time we lived there digging them up. Around here they call them ” flags”. And the purple ones are called ” Blue Flags”. They are planted at the corners of every barn here in Lancaster County PA, I swear. I have some heirloom ones I was given , small yellow and bronze blossoms. But I am still more partial to the purple ones, their scent is heavenly.
Lisa, I am with you. The purple ones are the best. My Mom also had some yellow and white iris mixed in with the purple, but there is something about that purple color that you just can’t beat! We visited Lancaster, Pa once with our girls and my parents for a fun visit to see the Amish. That area of PA is quite beautiful with all of the rolling hills, beautiful farms, and big barns. For some reason I thought you lived in Michigan? PA is much closer and maybe one day we could meet when I visit my family in Virginia.
Yes Winnie, you are welcome to visit me here in southern Lancaster County, and I can take you around to see the ” old order ” country around here. The Old Order ( horse and buggy ) Mennonites right near me are even more conservative than the Amish and their farms are also a joy to see. Yes, it is lovely here but like everywhere ,the scourge of our age, development is encroaching on this, the best farmland in the country.