The adorable, always humorous MBA Jane is my way of honoring our Sisterhood Merit Badge program, now with 5,892 dues-paying members who have earned an amazing number of merit badges so far—8,416 total! Take it away, MBA Jane!!! MJ 

For this week’s Cleaning Up/Going Green Expert Level Merit Badge, I was pretty happy with the way things were going around my house. Green? You betcha! Everywhere you looked, you could see the rewards and fruits of my labors. Not that it was too laborious; going green is easier than you might think.

My cleaners were homemade, my food was organic, my paint was non-toxic, and everything was looking tip top, ship shape, in Bristol fashion. *

*I may be watching a tad too much British telly lately. I mean, television.

There were only a couple items on my Expert Level Merit Badge that needed to be accomplished:

• a clothesline
• a lending library of any how-to books relating to going green
• spending some time at a friend’s house, helping her abode become more earth friendly

First off, it turned out that that weird-looking post in the ground in my backyard was not simply a place to tie your doggy when you needed to curb his wandering habits. Nope, it was a clothesline! Well, you could have knocked me over with feather. I knew it looked sorta familiar (must have seen one on a period piece on the telly). I got myself over to the hardware store immediately and purchased myself some clothespins (turns out they’re not just for crafts or for holding your chip bag closed. Ahem).

I was flabbergasted at how yummy my organic cotton sheets smelled after one morning in the sunshine! I am not kidding, my little honeybees, they were sweeter scented than anything Downey could ever bottle. I slept like a log that night. Chainsaw included, I admit sheepishly.

Next, I organized my little stack of books (and magazines) and let my friends and family know they were available for borrowing. Two weeks at a time, no renewals. Please fill out this little form, including credit card number, social security, and mother’s maiden name. What? So, I’m a little over-protective of my books … I can’t imagine why no one has visited Jane’s Lending Library yet. It’s a puzzle.

Anyway, after that (and after a short siesta on my floral bed of happiness), I wandered over to Midge’s house. I figured she needed some sprucing up in the ol’ green department, and boy, was I right. That doll is still stuck in the ’50s, let me tell you. Of course, it’s not strictly her fault; Mattel discontinued her in the ’60s. (Reproductions don’t count. My Midge could never be reproduced – pshaw!)

She was happy to let me do my thing, so to speak, and we spent a cheerful afternoon throwing out toxic cleansers and scrubs, letting the kids try out my homemade deodorant and toothpaste (good thing they’re organic and tummy friendly, cuz the youngest kept trying to eat them), and pulling out some nasty old carpet in the entryway. (Can you say, hardwood floors beneath? Blimey!)

At the end of our day, I had earned my newest badge, plus a sense of satisfaction and an even deeper friendship. A most excellent way to spend a day, indeed.

Pip pip, cheerio!

Welcome New Sisters! (click for current roster)

Merit Badge Awardees (click for latest awards)

My featured Merit Badge Awardee of the Week is … Carole Prevost-Meier!!!

Carole Prevost-Meier (#3610) has received a certificate of achievement in Stitching & Crafting for earning a Beginner Level Knitting Merit Badge!

“I do know how to knit; however, I can only read French patterns. My goal is to learn to read English patterns. I am teaching my daughter how to knit. She made a pair of mittens and a scarf. I am also teaching her about yarn quality, which is very important.”

I love how her scarf turned out. She used circular needles and did a great job.

The adorable, always humorous MBA Jane is my way of honoring our Sisterhood Merit Badge program, now with 5,892 dues-paying members who have earned an amazing number of merit badges so far—8,416 total! Take it away, MBA Jane!!! MJ

For this week’s Each Other/Know Your Roots Expert Level Merit Badge, I continued where my Intermediate Level left off.

Right at the intersection of Mysterious and Secrets. At the corner of Suspicious and Questions. At the … well, you get my drift.

I was adrift at sea in an ocean of unanswered questions. Call me overly poetic and dramatic, but something was definitely up with my Grandma Barbie. First, she got all weird on me when I mentioned someone named Blaine, and then she hung up on me! Grandmas aren’t allowed to hang up on their granddaughters.

And now, of all the nerve, she is so totally avoiding my phone calls. Ever one step ahead from my ornery grandmother, I borrowed Midge’s phone and dialed the retirement home in Florida one more time.

Not recognizing the number, Grandma Barbie answered cheerfully. “Why, hello, Midge, darling! I’m so glad you called. Could you do me a favor and tell Jane I went away on a cruise or something?”

Me: “Gramma! You are in so much trouble!”

I hear the sound of the phone dropping. Then, “Oh dear. Dear, dear. Well, I always knew this day would come. Hang on, sweetie, I need to refresh my sweet tea if we’re going to go over family history.” I hear her gulp thirstily.

I drum my nails loudly into the speaker as a subtle hint. “You hung up on me, Gramma.”

G.B.: “Yes, I know, dear. I was just so surprised to hear you mention his name after all these years.”

Me: “Who? Blaine? This mysterious fellow from the Outback of Broken Hearts? This Australian Casanova? This …”

G.B.: “You’re being overly dramatic. Now stop getting your knickers in a twist, and I’ll tell you all about it.”

I wrinkle my nose. “Just the facts, ma’am.” The thought of my elderly grandmother getting cozy with anyone gives me a bad case of the no-thank-yous. “Who’s Blaine?”

G.B.: “Well, it was the summer your grandfather and I broke up. It was the late ’60s, you understand, and a time of free love and …”

Me: “BLECH! Get to the point, Grammy!”

G.B.: “Don’t sass me, young lady. Where was I?”

Me: “Making my stomach knot with unnecessary mind pictures.”

G.B.: “Right. Well, anyway, Ken disappeared that year and Blaine was introduced. He was my friend, Summer’s, brother. Remember Summer?”

Me: “Blue hair? Bad driver?”

G.B.: “Well, not back then, but yes. Blaine and I went together for a while. It was a wild time. He was very sweet.”

Me: “Well? And what happened then?”

G.B.: “Well, nothing really. We broke up because Ken came back. Midge started dating Alan. Skipper and Stacie took up a lot of my time. The rest is history.”

Me: “That’s it? Why’d you hang up on me? I thought you were going to reveal some big family secret!”

Grandma laughs. “Oh, Janie, you always were such a worry wart. Now stop poking your nose into my love life, and get crackin’ on yours. Okay, darling?”

I frown. Trust Gramma to spin the situation around. “Okay. But …”

G.B.: “Oh dear, sounds like there’s a bad connection again! Ffklj! Kklmnw?”

Me: “Gramma, you’re just putting your hand over the mouthpiece and making funny noises again, aren’t you?”

G.B.: “Lmeoico? Ajfft!”

Click.

Some critics have called my Grandmother a dumb blonde, but I’m telling you … she’s tricked them all. That woman is deep.

Welcome New Sisters! (click for current roster)

Merit Badge Awardees (click for latest awards)

My featured Merit Badge Awardee of the Week is … CJ Armstrong!!!

CJ Armstrong (ceejay48, #665) has received a certificate of achievement in Garden Gate for earning a Beginner, Intermediate, and Expert Level Weather Merit Badge!

BEGINNER:

How does one describe the Earth’s atmosphere and weather? A very complicated, complex process that we can only begin to understand. Earth’s atmosphere is briefly described as “layers of gas,” which are mostly nitrogen, but contain some oxygen. The short term is “air.” Often, certain air masses remain stationary over certain areas for a time; for example, the air over a tropical climate would become hot and humid. But the masses can shift and could bring changes to an area that are not typical for that region. But the atmosphere is ever-changing and moving, causing a variety of weather conditions. Part of that process causes changes in the atmospheric pressure, and a high-pressure system would indicate good weather, while a low-pressure system means clouds and precipitation are probably in the works.

A barometer is an instrument used to measure atmospheric pressure and can indicate short-term changes in the weather.

Wind is basically movement of air and, briefly described, is formed with changes in the Earth temperatures, with different heating patterns between the equator and the poles, and is affected by the planet’s rotation. Wind is also difficult to describe.

Studying all the elements of how weather is formed is very interesting and very intricate. Some of the other areas I have studied that impact weather are air masses, process of evaporation, jet streams, and El Niño.

INTERMEDIATE:

One could study clouds for a long time and one could watch them form and move on for hours. They are beautiful, interesting, and ever-changing. Basically, clouds are formed of condensed water/ice and are formed when rising air expands and cools to the point that molecules clump together faster than they are torn apart by thermal energy.

Common types of clouds are:

Cumulus, meaning “heap”

Stratus, meaning “layer”

Cirrus, meaning “curl of hair”

Nimbus, meaning “rain”

There are also classifications of high-level, mid-level, low-level, and vertically formed clouds.

I learned to classify clouds a long time ago as a child in school. It’s something that my husband and I still practice so that we have sense of what weather might be coming our way, and it’s something we taught our daughter when she was in school. Very intriguing practice!

EXPERT:

Because of our need to know what weather might impact travel, gardening, building projects, outdoor activities, and numerous other situations or activities, my husband and I have been charting weather in our area for a long time.

We are mindful of what might be ahead before planning any activity or project that is going to be greatly affected by the weather.”

Welcome New Sisters! (click for current roster)

Merit Badge Awardees (click for latest awards)

My featured Merit Badge Awardee of the Week is … Nancy Boyd!!!

Nancy Boyd (#2508) has received a certificate of achievement in Cleaning Up for earning a Beginner Level Recycling Merit Badge!

“I researched recycling in my area. This research checked into what my residential garbage hauler would and wouldn’t take. It also included what other opportunities were available for recycling in the Columbus, Ohio, area.

There are a lot of places to recycle items. Even if one place doesn’t accept an item, there is another place that will. There is even going to be an event offered through www.swaco.org and Ohio Health, in partnership with the DEA, that will be a prescription drug take-back day on April 26, 2014, to dispose of unused, old, or unwanted prescription drugs to get them out of the house.”

The adorable, always humorous MBA Jane is my way of honoring our Sisterhood Merit Badge program, now with 5,892 dues-paying members who have earned an amazing number of merit badges so far—8,416 total! Take it away, MBA Jane!!! MJ 

For this week’s Each Other/Know Your Roots Intermediate Level Merit Badge, I combed the National Archives, Ancestry.com, my local library, and the depths of my Grandma Barbie’s brain for some interesting and little-known facts/anecdotes/stories about me and mine. It turns out (as projects like this tend to do, my chickadees) that what I didn’t know about me could fill a book.

Strange, no? You’d think I’d be an expert on my family’s history, but it seems I paid about as much attention during holiday dinners reminiscing as I did in Mr. Potter’s fifth-grade history class. So basically, I know my own birthday and the year the Civil War started. I think. (Don’t quiz me. I get all twitchy and clammy when there’s a test coming.)

Finding your roots these days isn’t as difficult as it used to be. Thanks to the ol’ worldwide web thingamabobby, you can get started with something as simple as your mother’s maiden name and birth date, and lo and behold, all sorts of data will practically fall into your lap(top). And once you start? Well, it’s like homemade, organic, sea-salted kettle chips, ladies. It’s hard to stop at just one.

First of all, I opened up my grandma’s box of scrapbooks. Grandma Barbie is a hoarder collector of the finest degree. She saves everything from carefully folded tissue paper to twist ties to greeting cards to wedding invites to baby announcements to high-school-graduation programs to … well, you name it, she has it pasted into a scrapbook somewhere. And then she puts that scrapbook into a box. And then she mails me that box.

Thanks, Grandma.

*sigh*

Anyway, I figured there was more info there I could possibly need for one little ol’ merit badge, and I was correct. I decided to get her on the phone and see if she could possibly whittle down some of our basic family history into something more condensed.

Say, like Tolstoy lengths.

What follows is a transcription of our conversation. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Me: “Grammy! It’s me, your favorite granddaughter in all the land!”

G.B.: “Stacie?”

Me: “Haha, Grandma.”

G.B.: “Tutti?”

Me: “Very funny. It’s me, Jane.”

G.B.: “Oh, I know, honey, I just like pulling your leg. You’ve always been so flexible and bendy.”

Me: “Yes, well, I get it from you. Now, I was going through some old eh, priceless family heirlooms, and had some questions about my family tree. Are you ready?”

G.B.: “Shoot.”

Me: silence. “Pardon me?”

G.B.: “Shoot! Fire away! Proceed!”

Me, thinking the old-time expressions to be very odd indeed, hurried forward (Isn’t there a badge for learning another language? Does grandparent-speak count as an ancient language?): “Well, I was wondering about this Blaine fellow, first off.”

I hear Grandma coughing suddenly on the other end. “What’s that? I can’t hear you, sweetie! I think we have a bad connection!”

Me, suspiciously: “The connection is fine, Grammy. Now, as I was saying. I found these very interesting love letters to you, postmarked from Australia …”

Garbled, incoherent noises fill my ear, and also what sounds like a really bad imitation of static sounds. Then … click!

What in the name of torrid Australian love affairs have I stumbled upon?