Author Archives: mbajane

The adorable, always humorous MBA Jane is my way of honoring our Sisterhood Merit Badge program, now with 6,962 dues-paying members who have earned an amazing number of merit badges so far—9,905 total! Take it away, MBA Jane!!! ~MaryJane 

For this week’s Make It Easy/Rethink Your Space Beginner Level Young Cultivator Merit Badge, I needed to take a deep breath, inhale some calming lavender essential oil, and give myself a pep talk. And this was all before the badge earning began …

You see, this badge was all about a youngster in your life cleaning their room properly.

I chose Andy.

I should have chosen … anyone else.

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The adorable, always humorous MBA Jane is my way of honoring our Sisterhood Merit Badge program, now with 6,861 dues-paying members who have earned an amazing number of merit badges so far—9,721 total! Take it away, MBA Jane!!! ~MaryJane 

For this week’s Make It Easy/Furniture Makeover Beginner Level Merit Badge, I couldn’t believe my good fortune. Step One of earning this handy-dandy badge? Settling in to watch some DIY furniture tutorials.

I love me a good tutorial.

Confession: I even love a bad tutorial. Laughter is the best medicine after all, don’tchaknow.

I plead guilty to …

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The adorable, always humorous MBA Jane is my way of honoring our Sisterhood Merit Badge program, now with 6,861 dues-paying members who have earned an amazing number of merit badges so far—9,721 total! Take it away, MBA Jane!!! ~MaryJane 

For this week’s Each Other/Let’s Go To Town Beginner Level Young Cultivator Merit Badge, I was still in the library …

… where I had misplaced one small child, two Young Adults, and a couple of elementary-aged bookworms. Not to worry, dear readers, my local librarians are amateur sleuths in their spare time (evidently, detective skills are required in order to become a Children’s Librarian), and the little ankle biters turned up posthaste. One had snuck into Story Time and was sitting on the lap of a mom (who had several children and didn’t seem to notice the extra thumb-sucker), one was gleefully scanning books at the Self Checkout machine, and the teens had found the coffee shop.

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The adorable, always humorous MBA Jane is my way of honoring our Sisterhood Merit Badge program, now with 6,861 dues-paying members who have earned an amazing number of merit badges so far—9,721 total! Take it away, MBA Jane!!! ~MaryJane 

For this week’s Out There Kids/Park Place Beginner Level Young Cultivator Merit Badge, I channeled my inner child (and also Nora and Andy) and we went to the park.

Not having had kiddos myself, I was totally immersed and enjoying the whole “playdate” experience. I mean, I’ve scheduled playdates for my doggies and maybe one or two for the chickens (Chickens are social creatures, too, you know!), but I hadn’t seen any human ones in action. There were mommies sipping on lattes while their offspring climbed trees and daddies taking business calls while their little ones went down the slides. It was like a Norman Rockwell painting.

If Norman had had Andy and Nora with him, though, his paintings might have been a little less perfect. More like they were painted by a totally distracted adult being run ragged by two adorable urchins. Did Norman have children? Must Google that.

photo by David R. Tribble via Wikimedia Commons

Anyway …

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The adorable, always humorous MBA Jane is my way of honoring our Sisterhood Merit Badge program, now with 6,861 dues-paying members who have earned an amazing number of merit badges so far—9,721 total! Take it away, MBA Jane!!! ~MaryJane 

For this week’s Young Cultivator Farm Kitchen/Icing on the Cake Beginner Level Merit Badge, I sat down with the two whippersnappers in my life (Nora and Piper) and we made ourselves a list.

Lists are my life.

I brake for lists.

Me and lists forever.

Lists: A Love Story.

Normally, the rugrats scoff at my list making, but this one was one they could get behind. And in front of, and across from, and so on and so forth. Why, you ask? Because it was a list of Things You Could Put On a Cake (T.Y.C.P.O.A.C. for short).

Who wouldn’t want to keep adding onto a list like that?

photo by James Petts via Wikimedia Commons

We were going to need more paper …

Frosting went without saying, though surprisingly, none of us are fond of it. We all agreed it is what’s under it and on top of it that could float our boats, culinary-ly speaking.

Nora, Piper, and Yours Truly’s T.Y.C.P.O.A.C.:

• Powdered sugar dusted over a paper doily would make a lovely pattern.
• Glazed nuts are a delish alternative.
• Dislike of frosting can be remedied by cream cheese. Turns out, we all swoon for cream cheese icing.
• Coconut makes a wonderful presentation, and if you tint it with green food coloring, you’d have edible “grass.”
• Marzipan is fun to shape into creatures and such (and tastes a bit better than most fondants).
• Pretzels
• Dried fruits
• Candy (Well, come on. They’re kids. Not gonna get away without some candy.)
• Peppermint sticks
• Graham crackers, either in pieces or ground into crumbs
• Gummy worms or bears
• Edible flowers: nasturtiums, dandelions, day lily, squash blossom, lavender
• Small toys (do not eat)
• Coconut, brown sugar, butter, and nuts, all spread on top then broiled under the broiler until bubbly
• Homemade whipped cream
• Meringue
• A dollop of yogurt or sweetened sour cream
• Marshmallows
• Sprinkles (use them one at a time to make an “embroidery” like pattern)
• Cereal (think Trix, or Fruit Loops, or Lucky Charms, but look for their organic alternatives)
• Chocolate that has been drizzled into shapes, then hardened
• Cookies
• Chocolate rocks
• Cinnamon sticks
• Orange-peel curlicues
• Chocolate shavings (or white chocolate)
• Raisins
• Berries
• Small sprigs of pine tree branches make a pretty forest
• Fruit leather cut into shapes
• Crumbled Oreos (the organic kind, of course!)
• Chocolate-covered coffee beans
• Popcorn
• Poppy seeds
• Candied ginger
• Star anise
• Birthday candles (What? We were getting tired, and our hands were sore from writing.)

After all this brainstorming, we were seriously famished. Ravenous. Starving. Our bellies were rubbing our ribs. Our tummies were rumbling.

In short? We needed cake. Stat.

The adorable, always humorous MBA Jane is my way of honoring our Sisterhood Merit Badge program, now with 6,861 dues-paying members who have earned an amazing number of merit badges so far—9,721 total! Take it away, MBA Jane!!! ~MaryJane 

For this week’s Each Other/Let’s Go To Town Beginner Level Young Cultivator Merit Badge, I gathered up my large stack of (barely overdue) library books, my biggest and sturdiest reusable tote bag, and my posse of neighbor kids. I had learned something about the little whippersnappers earlier and I was appalled.

They didn’t have library cards.

Photo by Joe Crawford via Wikimedia Commons

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The adorable, always humorous MBA Jane is my way of honoring our Sisterhood Merit Badge program, now with 6,861 dues-paying members who have earned an amazing number of merit badges so far—9,721 total! Take it away, MBA Jane!!! ~MaryJane 

For this week’s Young Cultivator Each Other/Thank You! Intermediate Level Merit Badge, I decided to let Piper and Andy put down their pencils (the Gratitude Journal keeping was getting easier and better, but I was afraid another Merit Badge with writing involved might give them the Crazy Eyes). You see, to earn Level Two, they could either send Thank You cards to people in their community, OR they could do something nice for said people in their community.

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The adorable, always humorous MBA Jane is my way of honoring our Sisterhood Merit Badge program, now with 6,825 dues-paying members who have earned an amazing number of merit badges so far—9,626 total! Take it away, MBA Jane!!! ~MaryJane 

For this week’s Young Cultivator Stitching and Crafting/Toys Beginning Level Merit Badge, I decided to make it easy on myself and hand the reins over to my niece, Piper. In order to earn her very first Young Cultivator badge, Piper needed to interview an adult about the toys they played with when they were young.

Ahhh, nostalgia, thy name is toys …

Photo by Webms via Wikimedia Commons

Take it away, Piper!

*tap, tap, tap*

Piper: Testing, testing, 1 … 2 … 3?

Jane: Isn’t that a plastic karaoke machine, Pipes?

Piper: I’ll do the questioning, ma’am. First question: what was your favorite toy growing up as a youngster in the 1850s?

Jane: Yikes! I’m not that old. My favorite toy only recently, as I am very spry and youthful, was my dolly, Adelaide.

Piper: I see. And what was said Adelaide made of? Wood?

Jane: Wood?

Piper: Yes. It’s my understanding that toys that long ago were likely actual sticks.

Stick doll or penny doll. Photo by Wolfgang Moroder via Wikimedia Commons.

Jane: A stick toy?

Piper: No, a stick used as a toy.

Jane, feeling ornery and deciding to go with it: Yes, Adelaide was a lovely stick. She was cherry mahogany, you know.

Piper: I see. And did you play with your stick for hours at a time?

Jane: Oh, yes. I dressed her up and braided her hair, which of course, was made of moss. Once I misplaced poor Adelaide and had to go looking for her. After I walked to school uphill both ways in the snow, naturally.

Piper: Goodness. Did you find her?

Jane, shaking her head sadly: It was a tragedy. It turns out my father had gone to gather kindling that morning for our stove while I was writing chalk verses on my slate for school.

Piper, gasping: Oh, no! Poor Adelaide!

Jane, chuckling: Just kidding. Adelaide was a real doll, and a posh one, too. She had little leather boots and a bunch of different outfits.

Vintage Bradley brand dolls from Japan, Photo by KeiBi via Wikimedia Commons

Piper, looking relieved, and also disappointed: Oh. Yeah, I have one like that. I don’t really play with her, though. I mostly play my iPad and stuff.

Jane: Really? Have you ever told her your secrets? Or sent her on secret missions for you?

Piper, looking slightly interested: Nooo … that sounds kinda fun, though. What else did you do with your stick? I mean, with Adelaide?

Jane: Well, I also had an old tape recorder. Kind of like the one you’re using now to interview me, except mine was way cooler.

Piper: Hey!

Jane: Just keeping it real, kid. Anyway, I was always transcribing stories into it, or rehearsing play lines, or predicting the future. Sometimes, my friends and I would sing songs or tell ghost stories into it.

Piper: Neato! Do you still have the tapes?

Jane: I think I may have buried a couple.

Piper, frowning: What’d you do that for?

Jane: Like a time capsule. You’ve never done a time capsule? You mean to tell me iPads can’t do time capsules? Huh. Well, anyway, we buried a cigar box full of tapes and Polaroid pictures and nifty stuff. We buried it under that old oak tree out back.

Piper, looking mischievous: Really? Well, that’s enough interviewing for one day … thanks, Auntie Jane.

Jane: Anytime, pipsqueak. What are you doing the rest of the day?

Piper: Oh, you know, the usual. I thought I’d take the iPad out to the yard. Maybe sit under that nice, shady tree there.

Jane: Hmm. Is that so? Well, don’t forget your stick.

The adorable, always humorous MBA Jane is my way of honoring our Sisterhood Merit Badge program, now with 6,825 dues-paying members who have earned an amazing number of merit badges so far—9,626 total! Take it away, MBA Jane!!! ~MaryJane 

Earning our Beginning Level Merit Badge for recycling and proper garbage disposal fired up my nephew, Andrew, so much that he was determined to earn his Cleaning Up/Trash Talk Intermediate Level Merit Badge posthaste.

He was garbage obsessed.

A stinkage fanatic. A debris addict. A litter king. A rubbish extremist. A trash junkie.

Ha! Get it? Trash junkie? Ah, I slay myself.

Anyway, after our newfound knowledge gathered from the local recycling center, the dump, and reading his handy-dandy pamphlet cover to cover, Andy was the man for the job. He recruited me as his Super-secret Garbage Spy Left-hand Sidekick Girl (his title), and we got to work infiltrating the family.

First off, he brought in his shiny, new recycling container that the friendly folks at the recycling center gave us, and plopped it dead center in the middle of the living room.

photo by epSos .de via Wikimedia Commons

(Mom quickly nixed that idea, so it moved to the kitchen.)

Andy was not satisfied though; he thought we could do better. So, using a small laundry hamper and an oversized Easter basket …

photo of The Longaberger Basket Factory by Barry Haynes via Wikimedia Commons

(not quite this big)

… he painstakingly made DIY labels for his Super-smart Recycling Center (his title), and soon enough, he had three stations:

• Paper
• Plastics
• Glass

We were going to make one for cans, but the family had recently give up their soda habit, so we decided against it. Yay, family! I shall reward them with some fresh-squeezed kale juice soon. Or maybe we won’t push them that far quite yet …

I did remind Andy we could make a compost container too, so once again we were off on an upcycling quest. We took an aluminum coffee can with a lid and decorated it with scraps of paper and magazine cutouts, collage style.

photo by BrandEvangelist via Wikimedia Commons

Note to self: giving small boys access to glue is an adventure in babysitting.

Andy labeled it Compost for Auntie Jane’s Eggs Chickens.

At least, I think that’s what he labeled it.

Is there a badge for legible handwriting he can work on soon? No? Phooey.

As for me, being his Super-secret Garbage Spy Left-hand Sidekick Girl, I was put to work spying and reporting back to him, the Super-secret Top Boss Recycling Hero Man (his title). We spent a whole afternoon hiding behind furniture, sneaking in the laundry room, and trying to fit in the kitchen cupboards.

Note to self: You aren’t as young (or flexible) as you used to be, Janey, my girl.

If we saw a family member nonchalantly toss a recyclable into the regular old trash, we were to report to one another immediately.

Then we were to tickle them until they begged for mercy and charge them a quarter (his plan).

OR:

We were to lovingly and calmly instruct and remind them of the new household rules (my plan).

We compromised and went with lovingly and calmly instructing and reminding them of our household rules and then charging them a quarter.

Or was it lovingly and calmly tickling them? Well, no matter. Let’s just say, the family got on board asap. And in no time at all, Andy had earned his badge and the family was upgraded to Super-hero Recycling Experts (my title).

The adorable, always humorous MBA Jane is my way of honoring our Sisterhood Merit Badge program, now with 6,760 dues-paying members who have earned an amazing number of merit badges so far—9,508 total! Take it away, MBA Jane!!! ~MaryJane 

For this week’s Beginner Level Stitching and Crafting/Dyeing for Color Merit Badge, I was already a bit of an expert. I mean, I don’t like to brag or anything (“Toot toot!” That may or may not be the sound of my own horn.), but I have been dyeing for a long time now.

I’ve been a brunette, a strawberry blonde, a platinum bombshell, and every shade in between. I’ve had highlights and lowlights, frosted tips, and bleached roots. I’ve had Clairol and Garnier and L’Oreal. I’ve done …

Wait. That’s not what we’re going for?

Well, color me embarrassed.

(Get it? Color me?)

photo by jerebu via Wikimedia Commons

But I could still use my hair color know-how and safety lessons learned in my newfound adventure of dyeing other things besides my tresses. For example: preparing your workstation (or head). Always put on an old shirt that you don’t mind getting stained, and wear gloves, chickadees. Once I went Nicole Kidman-inspired red, and my palms were stained for days. It looked like I had murdered someone. I was housebound for a week, and by the time I could leave, my beautiful locks had faded to Carebear pink. Sigh. Learn from me.

Another precaution before you start playing around experimenting responsibly with dyes, is to choose products that won’t trigger a headache or stomachache, if you are prone to those niggles when an overwhelming odor assaults you. Or, if you must use a chemical-laden dye, do it outside. No one will appreciate your shade of chartreuse on your hand-dyed bedspread if you are face down in it halfway through the procedure, gasping for breath like a fish out of water.

For my first venture into the unknown of Dyeing for Color, I chose tea.

That’s right … tea. It’s not just for breakfast anymore.

photo by Kayla Palmer via Flickr.com

I decided to dye a lovely, vintage lace tablecloth that had a roast chicken stain smackdab in the center. Up ’til now, I had simply plonked a vase of flowers right over the offending mark, but now I had a better plan. Color the whole thing Roast Chicken Drippings.

Side note: Crayola should probably hire me as a color namer. I’m really good at it. Some of the others I’m working on: Wet Seagull, Glistening Pepperoni, Vampire Skin, and Tuna Noodle Casserole Surprise.

Anyway, I was hesitant to use a good-quality tea for something that wouldn’t involve guzzling it, but then I remembered if you are cooking with wine, you should use a wine you’d like to drink. So, I figured the same rule applied here, right? So, I poured myself a glass of wine and got to work. Hee hee.

I brewed up a very large batch of Earl Grey, mixed with Oolong and just a sprinkling of Constant Comment. Your tablecloth may not be so particular, so go with your gut. Darker teas will, of course, dye your fabric a darker color, but don’t worry, even Turkish coffee won’t turn your fibers jet black.

I swirled my tablecloth around in the tea, making sure it was properly submerged and tucking it in gently. Then I left it for about 60 minutes. You can go longer or shorter; just keep checking on your fabric.

Rinse and wring out. If you don’t like the smell of tea, you can wash it out. Although, if you don’t like the smell of tea, well, there’s not a whole lot anyone can do for you.

Line dry, and enjoy your pretty new creation.

Now my tablecloth is less Roast Chicken Drippings, and more Recently Bathed Golden Retriever.

Seriously. Someone get Crayola on the line. I’m on fire.