Tag Archives: MBA Jane

Safe Toys

The adorable, always humorous MBA Jane is my way of honoring our Sisterhood Merit Badge program, now with 4,819 dues-paying members who have earned an amazing number of merit badges so far—6,550 total! Take it away, MBA Jane!!! MJ

Wondering who I am? I’m Merit Badge Awardee Jane (MBA Jane for short). In my former life

For this week’s Stitching and Crafting/Safe Toys Merit Badge, my memories harkened back to the good old days of playing hacky sack at the corner of Childhood and Games. Not really; it was the corner of Maple and Main, but you get my poetic license, right?

These double-jointed knees of mine can lob some bean bags through space like you wouldn’t believe. I was the hacky sack champion of ’85-’89, till Skipper quit the Double Dutch Team and really dedicated herself to being my arch nemesis. Grrr … Don’t even get me started on our Macramé War from ’92-’93. Epic.

Anyway, having fun with bean bags is no strange idea for me, so I was all about this badge! I got out all my fabric pieces (you know, those odd-shaped edges you weren’t sure what to do with but didn’t want to throw away?) and some iron-on transfers. First step was locating the iron and then promptly blowing all the dust off of it. Ahem. Never let it be said I don’t know how to iron, precisely; I prefer to think of it as saving energy and occasionally rocking the “lived-in” look. I call it lived-in, you call it wrinkled. Potato, potAHto. Let’s not split hairs.

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Languages and Culture Merit Badge

The adorable, always humorous MBA Jane is my way of honoring our Sisterhood Merit Badge program, now with 4,819 dues-paying members who have earned an amazing number of merit badges so far—6,550 total! Take it away, MBA Jane!!! MJ

Wondering who I am? I’m Merit Badge Awardee Jane (MBA Jane for short). In my former life

For this week’s Merit Badge, Each Other/Languages and Culture, I was excited to try my hand at learning American Sign Language.

(Get it? Try my hand? Sign language? I slay myself).

When I first started this badge, I only knew one phrase in American Sign Language (that’s ASL, for us in the know): “Rock on!”  Turns out what I thought was “Rock on!” and what I sported all through my last Jefferson Airplane concert last summer was really ASL for “I love you.” Now I’m starting to rethink what I thought was my traditional Hawaiian greeting … I thought I was saying something like, “hang loose, bro,” but for all I know I could be saying, “please pass the toilet paper.”

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Light the Way

The adorable, always humorous MBA Jane is my way of honoring our Sisterhood Merit Badge program, now with 4,819 dues-paying members who have earned an amazing number of merit badges so far—6,550 total! Take it away, MBA Jane!!! MJ

Wondering who I am? I’m Merit Badge Awardee Jane (MBA Jane for short). In my former life

Being a girl who likes some twinkle in her life, a little sparkle, some bling if you will, I was excited to try my very own * drum roll, puhleeze! * …

Outpost Chandelier! (Merit Badge Madge, specifically, beginner level for Make It Easy, Light The Way.)

That’s right, chickadees, nothing says glam like a chandelier, and putting it outside, to shine and glimmer for an evening picnic? Oh my. Perfection with just some fencing, candles, and baby-food jars!

Now before you start jumping to conclusions about me doing any procreating, simmer down and let me tell you, my bestie, Midge, has a collection from her triplets that would put the Gerber company to shame. Seriously, I think we could make everyone in town an outpost chandelier and still have enough left over to store my glitter collection (also extensive).

So, with my jars in hand, and not one, but two pairs of pliers (needle-nose and wire-cutting … look at me, all tool know-how-y!) and a lovely piece of rusty old fence webbing, I was ready to start.

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Relaxation Merit Badge

The adorable, always humorous MBA Jane is my way of honoring our Sisterhood Merit Badge program, now with 4,690 dues-paying members who have earned an amazing number of merit badges so far—6,500 total! Take it away, MBA Jane!!! MJ

Wondering who I am? I’m Merit Badge Awardee Jane (MBA Jane for short). In my former life

For this week’s Make It Easy/Relaxation Merit Badge, I thought I had it made in the shade. That’s right, girls, how hard can it be to relax?! I mean, seriously, this badge was in the bag, so to speak.

I was blindsided however, by the sneaky difficulty of relaxing. The insidious lurking feeling that I must be doing something. The niggling notion that I couldn’t turn my brain off.

I first realized how hard this was going to be on me when I found myself with my Blackberry in hand, scheduling my five-minute period of relaxation.

Um, grammar isn’t my strong suit, but isn’t that some sort of oxymoron, or something? Like a jumbo shrimp, or all-natural artificial flavor, or “a little bit pregnant,” or specifically vague?

Sighing at how in over my noggin I was, I scheduled my five minutes of relaxation right after my Hot Yoga class, but before my appointment at the The Doggy Beauty Parlor. Ms Twinkles is overdue for a grooming and a toenail clipping. I swear, that dog takes tap dancing to a whole new height on my hardwood floors at 3 a.m.  My Pomeranian thinks she’s Gene Kelly.

I found myself looking forward all day to my appointment with Relaxation. That’s right, I thought of Relaxation as a person I was meeting. Perhaps a long lost girlfriend, or a grandmotherly type, or a tanned cabana boy … ahem. Back to the badge at hand!

After Hot Yoga, I kinda wished I’d scheduled a few minutes to die properly. I had sweated away buckets, which sadly, in the world of physical fitness, meant I probably worked off half a blueberry muffin (sans butter). But, no matter! I had time to shower off, and then I found a perfect spot to meet with my elusive and mysterious Relaxation.

Evidently, Relaxation is not a punctual guy. I laid down in my favorite recliner and waited for him to arrive. Would he be soothing and gentle? Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound? Have a pencil thin mustache? My mind whirled. My thoughts swirled.

I. Could. Not. Find. The. Off. Switch. To. My. Brain.

ARGH! Stop thinking, Jane! I told myself, fiercely. Just relax! Relax! RELAX RIGHT NOW!

This badge was going to take longer than five minutes. This whole process was new to a get up and go kinda girl. I was lost. I decided to research a bit on the benefits of relaxation and the health hazards of stress. Turns out, the smartest, most successful, and happiest people in the world know the importance of little things like:

  • saying “No” occasionally
  • not over-committing
  • getting a full night’s sleep (No, not just on the weekends! Every night!)
  • recognizing what stresses you out and eliminating it
  • surrounding yourself with your definition of beauty

Huh! Who knew, right? I always figured the most successful people were the ones running around like chickens with their heads cut off, having a million and one things to do, and people to hire to do it! Maybe after I redefine what relaxation means to me, I can redefine what success means to me …

Whoa. Getting deep here. Suddenly, I felt a weight off my chest. I felt lighter. More energized. Less stressed. Could it be *gulp* that I did it?! I calmed down, and (dare I say it?) relaxed?

And I didn’t even have to schedule it this time.

Build It Green Merit Badge

The adorable, always humorous MBA Jane is my way of honoring our Sisterhood Merit Badge program, now with 4,690 dues-paying members who have earned an amazing number of merit badges so far—6,500 total! Take it away, MBA Jane!!! MJ

Wondering who I am? I’m Merit Badge Awardee Jane (MBA Jane for short). In my former life

For this week’s Beginner Level Make It Easy/Build It Green Merit Badge, I’m going green in my decorating. At first, yes, I may or may not have thought that meant a green theme, as in the color green, as in sage, pea soup, lime, forest, emerald, etc. But I quickly wrapped my brain around what it really meant: responsible, earth friendly, no regrets, kind of green. I knew that!

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Nellie Will-Do, Part II

The adorable, always humorous MBA Jane is my way of honoring our Sisterhood Merit Badge program, now with 4,690 dues-paying members who have earned an amazing number of merit badges so far—6,500 total! Take it away, MBA Jane!!! MJ

Wondering who I am? I’m Merit Badge Awardee Jane (MBA Jane for short). In my former life

In Part I of this beginner level Stitching and Crafting Nellie Will-do Badge, I gathered all my supplies for my “What Not to Sit Upon” upholstery makeover. Then I got hungry and took a break. Now, we’re ready to roll. Staple gun in hand, I’m all business.

Speaking of the staple gun, that thing is a beast! My thumbs will be sore for weeks, I do believe. (My texting is really going to suffer. I may have to *gasp!* call someone! Like, with my voice. I’m not sure I remember how to do that. Why, I haven’t held a phone to my ear in, like, forever.) Also, it’s quite loud—the gun, I mean. When I finally got it to fire correctly, I screamed and ducked and nearly ran for cover. Of course, I’ve been watching too many crime dramas, so I may have thought for a moment I was in the middle of a drive-by.

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Nellie Will-Do, Part I

The adorable, always humorous MBA Jane is my way of honoring our Sisterhood Merit Badge program, now with 4,690 dues-paying members who have earned an amazing number of merit badges so far—6,500 total! Take it away, MBA Jane!!! MJ

Wondering who I am? I’m Merit Badge Awardee Jane (MBA Jane for short). In my former life

This is a beginner level Stitching and Crafting Merit Badge that made my living room smile. Hello dolly!, did my living room need a makeover, stat. The problem? My furniture all had good bones (after all, it’s been handed down for generations, mostly from the original Dream House), but the upholstery was …

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Dyeing for Color

The adorable, always humorous MBA Jane is my way of honoring our Sisterhood Merit Badge program, now with 4,690 dues-paying members who have earned an amazing number of merit badges so far—6,500 total! Take it away, MBA Jane!!! MJ

Wondering who I am? I’m Merit Badge Awardee Jane (MBA Jane for short). In my former life

Just the name alone gave me warm, fuzzy feelings. After all, my roots were coming in dreadfully and I’d been hoping to find an excuse to go dark chocolate brunette for Christmas Eve (nothing says holidays like dark chocolate, am I right, girls?) But turns out, the Merit Badge gurus were not talking about my tresses. They also weren’t talking about tie-dye parties, of which I’ve had one or two (tenth birthday—it was psychedelic, dudettes) but actual … um, like, dyeing for less trivial reasons? Well, whatever the reason, I got behind this beginner level Dyeing for Color Merit Badge!

I decided to try the ancient art (okay, maybe it’s not ancient, but still) of tea coloring. I mean, it was only logical—I love tea. The smell, the taste, the jolt, and I love the color, although not on my teeth. That brings me back to chocolate. Everything brings me back to chocolate, actually. I think I have a problem.

Is there a 12-step program for chocoholics? No? Never mind. Back to the badge.

You know, badge is very nearly spelled fudge …

Sorry. I’m focused now.

I have a beeyooTEAful lace tablecloth that my Gramma Barbie gave me years ago. I’m always afraid to use it on Christmas day because:

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Homespun Christmas, Part II

The adorable, always humorous MBA Jane is my way of honoring our Sisterhood Merit Badge program, now with 4,690 dues-paying members who have earned an amazing number of merit badges so far—6,500 total! Take it away, MBA Jane!!! MJ

Wondering who I am? I’m Merit Badge Awardee Jane (MBA Jane for short). In my former life

With visions of sugarplums still dancing in my head, I got up early to get a jump on the rest of my Christmas crafting in order to earn my beginner level Homespun Christmas Merit Badge. I had salt dough to make and also a triple batch of dog biscuits (I decided why stop at my own doggie and the other one or two I could think of when the Humane Society had plenty of biscuit-less four-legged friends?)

Since the salt dough ornaments were going to take the longest, I started with them …

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Lend a Hand to Families

The adorable, always humorous MBA Jane is my way of honoring our Sisterhood Merit Badge program, now with 4,649 dues-paying members who have earned an amazing number of merit badges so far—6,500 total! Take it away, MBA Jane!!! MJ

Wondering who I am? I’m Merit Badge Awardee Jane (MBA Jane for short). In my former life

A much-anticipated opportunity came this week. I was so excited. A girlfriend of mine, a real farm chick, a bosom buddy, one of my besties, had a baby! I could finally earn my Lend a Hand to Families badge! I’d been waiting for pestilence and plague, someone to fall sick or have a tragic injury, anything to give me the chance to help someone out.

I know. Even as a joke, it falls flat. My sacrificial nature and priorities are one of the best things about Yours Truly. Along with my humility, of course.

So, I waited by the phone with bated breath, anticipating the …

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