Here’s an old 2007 post of mine on our Farmgirl Connection Chatroom that I thought warranted recirculation in 2013. I must say, six years later, it’s still some of the best advice I’ve come across yet …
Feb 08 2007 11:01:05
Hi farmgirls!
I was reading Miss Manners in the paper this week and decided the advice she gave was worth sharing with my girlfriends.
An activist that really disagreed with the mining of diamonds asked Miss Manners how she should handle her many friends getting diamond engagement rings. “I am happy for all my friends’ engagements, but when they go and show me the diamond and ask my opinion on the ring (i.e., “Isn’t it beautiful?”), I really want to explain my position on these stones.”
Miss Manners replied: “Miss Manners assures you that people do not absorb moral lessons from those who trample on their feelings. Rather, they forever associate the unpleasantness of the spokesperson with the cause itself. So if the certainty that you would hurt your friends’ feelings is not enough to satisfy you into mere murmured politeness, how about the certainty that you would hurt your cause?”
I would also add that once you say something, you cannot “un-ring the bell”. It is frightening sometimes how powerful words can be. So many times, we mean well but allow our own obsession to be driving the conversation. ohvey, It is a life long learning process!
This is great advice. I’m glad farmgirls are still working on respect for others.
~ Blessings