en masse

The mere mention of mass-transit traveling has the uncanny power to elicit less-than-mannerly behavior. Groans, growls, and eye rolling are the reactions you get when …

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Ms. Manners!

Ladies, since we’ve hung up our corsets, bonnets, and petticoats, are basic manners going extinct also? Here’s a beginning list of manners. Can you add to them?

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  1. Annika Laurea-Wood says:

    I was just thinking about this over the weekend. I would like to add
    Please be present at the table. No ipods, texting, talking on cell phones while at the table
    Wash your hands before a meal
    Do not blow your nose at the table. yuck!
    Excuse yourself if you belch
    Be polite and avoid wild gesticulating, flailing jabbing elbows and what grandma called “boarding house reach”
    Be kind and offer a seat to elderly, disabled, pregnant people on public transportation
    Don’t hog the conversation at a get together or at your own table, give everyone a fair chance to join in
    or say something.
    If you don’t normally say grace before a meal, be respectful of others that do and sit quietly while they say their prayer.
    I don’t care how good the sale is, never shove others or slam their shopping cart.
    If you can’t find anything nice to say, say nothing.
    Be witty not snitty
    Goodness, I could go on and on…It seems like manners are going the way of the dodo sometimes.

    Smiles
    Annika

    • MaryJane says:

      These are fabulous Annika. I think you SHOULD go on and on:) REALLY, be present at the table. Technology distractions are becoming a huge problem. Thanks for adding your unique brilliance.

  2. Theresa says:

    I’d like to add:
    Moderate your voice. Those at other tables, or not in your conversation, do not need to hear your thoughts.
    If someone else is speaking, patiently wait until they are done. Interruption is disrespectful.
    Tolerance isn’t just for others, everyone has an opinion and we shouldn’t all agree. Be kind!

  3. Debi Chandler says:

    I think the most important one is to do unto others as you would like to have done to you. When you are thinking about doing something, write a note or make a comment, take just a wee moment and think about how you would feel it the samething happened to you.

  4. Eileen Widman says:

    Be kind enough to respond to an invitation even if you will not be able to attend.
    If someone is speaking to you, be present to their words. It is so rude to be thinking of what you want to say and miss the point of the other persons words.

  5. Teddi Bechard says:

    When entering an elevator, always wait to see if someone will be stepping out of the elevator before barging in.

  6. Tanya Matossian Bowers says:

    Thank you for all the reminders of good manners. On a positive note, take heed world, my girlfriends and I are dedicated to raising Mighty Warriors and Princesses to learn and respect GOOD MANNERS. And one more addition, Respect Authority. I may not agree with all authority but I am asked to respect it. Peace and grace. TanyaB, Mother of Three!

  7. Jan Culton says:

    I used to chew gum all the time, until one fine day a few years ago when I happened to get a load of myself in the mirror, chomping away….I haven’t chewed gum since. It is a very, very unattractive habit.

    I also would add: please don’t do certain things like using nail clippers, cotton swabs or dental floss anywhere except behind a closed door. No one wants to see or hear your personal hygiene.

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Driving Miss…Crazy?

Whenever I leave my cozy little burg in off-the-beaten-path Idaho and hit the “seasoned” streets of a mega metropolis, I get a wake up call. People drive like they’re gunning for redemption! San Francisco was a wild ride, lemme tell ya – and then there’s New York, Seattle, and, heck, even Spokane can get me all shook up. If you see a car puttering along in the emergency lane, give me a country wave.

West St. Overpass,Chatswood, Photo courtesy of Wikimedia Commons, Peter Hardy

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  1. Kiki says:

    I love this post~ I moved from Seattle 5 years ago from the busy hustle and bustle of city life to a quiet town where I live on my happy 5 acres! I too find that even now, I fall back into my own ways when the person infront of me at the ONE light in town doesn’t go fast enough and I miss the light!
    What is my hurry? If I was in such a hurry, I should have allowed for more time to get to my destination! I see that when I get frustrated that my 9 year old sittng in the car with me starts to pick up on my bad habits and that is something that I want to nip in the bud now!
    I love reading your awakining blogs and hope that I remember this one the next time I am in the car~ Mary Jane….you enspire me!

  2. Carolyn says:

    It’s good to see someone else thinks that traffic is way too fast besides me. Makes me feel like an old fuddy duddy to get all shook up driving in it – but now I know it’s not just my perception. I too live in a smaller town and life is slower, but my goodness, take time to glance around and be considerate to others. It just might make your day a little brighter and bring a smile to your lips.

  3. Erica says:

    Like this post. I live in a small rural town, but on a fairly busy corner. Throughout the day, honking, swearing and screeching brakes. Not that we should misbehave in a city, but certainly not in a small town…it seems like it should be that way, anyway.

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Little Helpers

Musician Carlos Santana once remarked, “You become gracious when you realize that you have something the world needs, and people are happy to see you when you come into the room.”

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First Day of School

It’s that time of year and our Stella couldn’t have been more excited for her very first first day of school! She just couldn’t wait to get out the door. I, on the other hand, was a bit of wreck. Our baby’s first day of school … she is getting all grown up … what if she skins her knee? Will Mrs. Nichols understand her when she asks to use the bathroom? Will she make friends? And those are just the little worries. What I’m learning from other seasoned parents is that I will have a list of new worries every year on the first day of school.

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  1. Cheri B says:

    My own daughter- now an old SENIOR- continues to have a rep as a HUGGER. She gives great hugs and has given them for years. THankfully, her teachers and school staff appreciated her hugs too.

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Here’s a Tip For You

I have a tip for you. It’s around 15 – 20%.

Your mind races. Your palms are starting to sweat. Time is short, and indecision holds you fast.

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  1. Joanna Fedewa says:

    As a server myself, I appreciate this post. Thanks Mary Jane for setting the record straight. And I realize that alot of people may not know that there are unsaid rules to tipping.

    Sometimes, places will also put how much the tip should be. For example at the restaurant where I work, if the customer pays for their bill using a debit or credit card there will be hints at the bottom for 10%, 15% and 20%.

    Plus, if you tip the server nicely and go back to that restaurant, chances are that they will remember. That server may also have told the other severs she worked with how nice of a tip she got. So then the other servers will also give you excellent service. Its the old saying of what goes around comes around.

  2. Tina Lemke says:

    While never having worked in the industry that receives tips, it just plain makes me happy to do a little something more for someone else. I don’t expect the waiter/waitress to “serve” me. I like to think of them as helping me enjoy a meal that I don’t have to cook or clean up. It’s a form of appreciation for me. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

  3. Ginger says:

    I work fast food and tipping is not thought of by people for that line of work, but I can tell you when customers tip me I really appreciate it. I am a single mom trying to go to school and raise my kids and my job does not pay enough. Those tips when I do get them really help out. When I have some extra money and I get the rare chance to eat out, I always tip.

  4. Keelia says:

    I live in Oregon. In Oregon servers are paid minimum wage. I know this is different in other states but, in Oregon the tip is just that a tip. As someone who has worked for many years with young children making minimum wage, I always question our American value systems where restaurant servers make more because they are tipped than those who look after our children.

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Nice Voice

There’s a joke about a little boy who gets put to bed early. The next morning he asks his parents …

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  1. Ruth Hower says:

    One of the most important things within a family is respect for one another. I’ve been the object of embarrassing remarks about me by my mate, and have also witnessed him speaking kindly to others but snapping and talking down to me. I don’t even know how to make him understand that it cuts like a knife. He’s a truly good person except for this flaw that has caused me to cry without tears many times. I’ve asked him to please talk with me the way he does with others, but it hasn’t changed – he just doesn’t get it. Sometimes I wish I could give him a taste of his own medicine, but it just isn’t in me. Everyone should think about the damage that’s done once unkind, disrespectful words are said – they can never be taken back! They may be forgiven, but never forgotten.

    • Ellen Andersen says:

      Thank you for this, Ruth. It was a reminder of my not-so-stellar at times attitude towards my Mom who has moved in with me. It’s sad that we often don’t give the same respect to our own family that we do to our friends.

  2. Dianne says:

    “You are always so kind and respectful whenever you speak to others”. “Why would you then want to embarrass me in front of others”. “It really hurts me”.

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Uncommon Courtesies

Did you know that every year, March 21 is National Common Courtesy Day? Yup—a full day devoted to reviving those little niceties that Mom drilled into your head. But, uh, just a teensy problem here…

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  1. mycatsfriend says:

    Well, my uncommon courtesy for the day was — I held the door for an elderly woman at the post office and then let her go ahead of me in line, and also told the woman who was putting her mail in the slot that she was there before me and let her go ahead of me as well. Does that count???

  2. CJ says:

    I sew. I sew aprons and sell them at our local Farmers Market on Saturday mornings. One Saturday morning a gentleman came by and asked me if I could help him with a sewing job on some chair cushions. He went home, got them and brought them by our vendor booth. I could hardly believe that anyone would actually would leave something in such deplorable condition! I took them home, took out those awful mistakes and fixed them like they should be. I decided not to charge anything for my time and work. Told the gentleman there was no charge and would he pass the favor on to someone else.

  3. Aline Barnes says:

    What a wonderful story. Keep up the good work and thanks for reminding us that manners do count.
    Have a wonderful day.

  4. Carol Samsel says:

    Every day at work I clean the break room and do the dishes other seem to think will wash themselves. I hate walking into a cluttered and dirty break room so when I leave it’s at least clean for the next person who comes in 🙂

  5. Until Recently I worked in a hometown convenience store. Since we opened at 5:30 in the morning, we got all the laborers and the kids going to school. I tried to always say “good morning with a smile and a heartfelt ” Have a good day”. It may sound hokie, but one day a young man on his way to a menial job looked at me and said, “That’s probably the only time I’ll hear that today.”

  6. Sara says:

    Today we were in a clothing store. A lady walked by with her hands full and the handle of her bag caught on some clothing/hangers on a rack. I immediately helped unhook her and re-hung the clothes on the rack. She was amazed that I helped her and thanked me several times. I like to help when I see the need. It feels good and makes the world a better place. I always remember a line from the song Hands by Jewel:
    “In the end, only kindness matters” . I believe that.

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Sicker Than A Dog

If you’ve ever had someone offer you a handshake with the same hand they just coughed into, you know where I’m going with this.

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  1. Susie Dally says:

    I was a receptionist at a Dr’s office-the pen available at the counter was wiped constantly with a disinfectant wipe-and my pen never left my desk-no one touched it but me!To this day, during cold and flu season-I never accept a pen from anyone-store clerks, reservation desks, the postman-I always have a small pen in the pocket of my coat or pocketbook.

  2. Cassilynn Brown says:

    I’m a nurse who works in a hospital and I know from experience sick people are miserable and cranky! Most patient’s are grateful for the care they receive and make sure you know how much they appreciate what you are doing for them. Then there is the occasional person who is just miserable to take care of. These are the ones who cannot be pleased or feels so bad, they want to share the pain. They cough in your face as you are leaning over to assess them, they throw snot rags all over the room, and they act like they were never taught manners. What they don’t think about is how their behavior puts everyone else in the hospital at risk. When someone coughs on me, they are coughing on my other patients, their family members, my family members, and my co-workers, and on and on…

    Side note – I’ve always taught my daughter to cough into the bend of her arm. Recently, she came back from a visit with her father and his wife. Her step-mom couldn’t understand why I taught her this. She told my daughter, “Well, you don’t open the door with your elbow do you? Wash your hands!” I just shook my head.

  3. Debra Brown says:

    I have had the flu and it has been bad. I would not even go to work. But I am afraid someone will catch what I’ve had in my work place. I never really get sick. This must be the year I get it. Just now a fellow empolyer just walked in couching. Just great.

  4. Ruth Hower says:

    My 96 year old mother resides in a nursing home. She’s confined to a reclining wheelchair and her bed. She can’t feed herself, but is able to use her hands enough to hold and fuss over a doll. Last winter she came down with the flu, as did most of the residents and some staff. It was upsetting to me since I know Mom didn’t go anywhere to catch it – it was brought to her. One of my pet peeves while visiting her 3 and 4 times a week is to see the aides touching doorknobs, wheelchair handles, and tray tables with the gloves they’ve just used while assisting someone in the bathroom. Besides flu spreading like wildfire, there have also been bouts of intestinal flu. I shudder to think what could happen if MRSA germs take hold. I wish besides hand-washing reminders there would also be cautions to health workers to remember that rubber gloves also carry germs!

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